Ben Affleck has opened up about losing both of his parents within two months of each other, saying their deaths have caused him to look back on his childhood and family life in a different way.
The 54-year-old actor discussed the personal impact of the losses during an appearance on Kerry Washington’s podcast, “Street You Grew Up On,” which premiered on Sept. 30. Affleck’s father, Timothy Affleck, died in April, while his mother, Chris Anne Affleck, died in June at the age of 83.
“My parents just died, both of them. In April, and in June,” Affleck said, describing the deaths as a major event that prompted him to reconsider parts of his upbringing.
He explained that losing his parents has made him think about his childhood in ways that feel different from how he viewed it when he was younger. In particular, the experience has given him a deeper appreciation for his mother and the sacrifices she made while raising him and his younger brother, Casey Affleck.
A major part of that change in perspective came after Affleck discovered old letters written by his mother when she was a young woman, long before she became a parent.
The letters offered him a glimpse of a side of Chris Anne that he had never known firsthand. They described a young woman with her own ambitions, interests and plans, including thoughts about becoming a social worker or teacher and involvement in protests while she was living in California.
For Affleck, reading the letters was striking because they showed that his mother had lived an entire life before he and Casey were born.
He said the discovery helped him understand that she had been a person with her own dreams and experiences, separate from the role he knew her for as his mother.
Affleck also reflected on how children can naturally see their parents primarily through the role they play in the family. As a child, he knew his mother as someone who made him and Casey the centre of her life.
Looking back as an adult, however, he now sees the extent of what she gave up and the effort she put into raising her sons.
Chris Anne worked as a public school teacher, teaching fifth and sixth grades. Affleck recalled that although her official school day ended around 2.30pm, she would often remain at work until about 5.30pm or 6pm before returning home to take care of her family.
Affleck acknowledged that he did not fully appreciate those sacrifices when he was growing up.
As a child, the routines of home life were simply normal to him. Only after becoming an adult, and particularly after his mother’s death, did he begin to recognise how much effort she had invested in making sure he and Casey were cared for.
He described his mother as intelligent, thoughtful, passionate and someone who could have pursued many different paths in life. Discovering her old letters allowed him to see more clearly the person she had been before motherhood and the choices she later made for her family.
Affleck also spoke about the more difficult parts of his childhood, including his parents’ troubled marriage.
Timothy Affleck struggled with alcohol and employment during Ben’s childhood, and Affleck recalled periods of anger and tension at home. His parents eventually divorced in 1984, when Ben was around 11 years old.
Rather than remembering the divorce simply as a painful event, Affleck said he recalled feeling relieved when his parents announced they were separating because the tension between them would finally ease.
He also reflected on the situation from his mother’s perspective, saying he believed she deserved happiness and love during a period when the marriage had become increasingly difficult.
Affleck’s reflections also show how his understanding of his father has changed over time. Timothy eventually became sober when Ben was a young adult and maintained that sobriety for decades.
The actor has previously spoken about his father’s struggles with alcoholism and the impact they had on the family, while also acknowledging the changes his father made later in life.
The deaths of both parents have now brought those different memories together for Affleck, giving him an opportunity to reconsider both the difficult and meaningful parts of his upbringing.
His mother’s letters, in particular, appear to have given him a new understanding of the woman he knew primarily as his mother. They showed him her life before children, her ambitions and the choices she made before dedicating much of her life to raising her sons.
Affleck’s brother Casey previously revealed that both of their parents had died this year while speaking about his film “Company” at the Venice Film Festival in September. He said he had wanted his parents to see the movie and believed they would have liked it.
For Ben, the loss of both parents has therefore become more than a period of mourning. It has also prompted him to revisit memories of growing up, reconsider his parents as individuals and recognise sacrifices that he says he did not fully understand as a child.
The reflections come as Affleck prepares for the release of “Animals,” his upcoming film with Washington. The movie is scheduled to arrive on Netflix on Oct. 9, while Washington’s podcast is set to continue with new weekly episodes.
