There comes a moment when a home stops feeling like a collection of useful belongings and starts looking more like a record of the life we have lived.
A coat bought for an imagined future. A stack of books that has not been opened in years. A gift from someone we love. A souvenir from a long-forgotten trip. A piece of furniture that has barely been used but somehow feels impossible to throw away.
For many people, decluttering is not simply about getting rid of things. It is about deciding which memories, identities and imagined versions of ourselves we are willing to leave behind.
That emotional struggle is at the centre of a new CNA Luxury essay by writer Daven Wu, who described the experience of clearing out nearly 19 years of accumulated possessions from his London home as unexpectedly difficult.
The hidden emotional weight of “stuff”
In his Aug. 22, 2026 article, Wu recounts preparing to close his chapter in London and consolidate his belongings with an existing home in Singapore.
The problem was not simply a lack of space. It was the sheer amount of history attached to the objects occupying that space.
Among the belongings he had accumulated were 15 coats, 25 tote bags, multiple sets of crockery, books, rugs and objects collected or inherited over the years.
Some possessions had obvious practical value. Others represented memories, aspirations or relationships.
Wu eventually settled on a simple rule: keep the things that had earned their place through regular use or genuine irreplaceability, and let the rest go.
The process was emotionally harder than expected — but once the decision was made, the physical act of clearing the home happened surprisingly quickly.
Why can throwing something away feel like losing a memory?
Psychologists have long studied the relationship between people and their possessions.
The American Psychological Association has highlighted research by psychologist Joseph Ferrari, a leading researcher on clutter, showing that possessions can become emotionally significant because they can trigger memories and feelings associated with past experiences.
An object may remind someone of a happy period, a difficult relationship, a family member or an important stage of life. That emotional association can make an otherwise ordinary object difficult to discard.
That helps explain why the question “Do I use this?” does not always settle the matter.
The real question can become:
“What does this object mean to me?”
And sometimes the answer has little to do with the object itself.
Clutter isn’t automatically a mental-health disorder
It is important to distinguish everyday clutter from hoarding disorder.
Researchers studying hoarding in Singapore have found that difficulty discarding possessions can involve strong emotional attachment, distress and significant consequences for living spaces, relationships and daily functioning. But hoarding disorder is a clinical condition and should not be casually equated with having an untidy home or owning too many things.
For most people, having a crowded wardrobe or an overflowing bookshelf does not mean they have a psychological disorder.
The issue becomes more significant when possessions begin interfering with the way someone lives.
More stuff does not necessarily mean more happiness
Research discussed by the American Psychological Association suggests that excessive clutter can be associated with stress, anxiety, lower life satisfaction and difficulties with relationships and everyday functioning.
Ferrari’s work also emphasizes that clutter becomes problematic when an overabundance of possessions begins affecting factors such as the livability of a home, emotional wellbeing, relationships or finances.
Separate research examining people’s descriptions of their homes has also found associations between perceptions of a stressful home environment and changes in mood over the course of the day.
In other words, the problem may not be that you own something.
It may be that too many things are demanding your attention at once.
Why “I might need it someday” is so powerful
One of the biggest obstacles to decluttering is uncertainty.
People often keep things because they believe they might eventually need them. There is also the fear of wasting money, regretting a decision or losing something that could become useful later.
Emotional attachment adds another layer.
A child’s old artwork, a parent’s belongings, an expensive purchase or a souvenir from a special trip can become symbolic. Getting rid of the object can feel like rejecting the memory associated with it.
That is why decluttering can sometimes feel less like cleaning and more like making hundreds of tiny decisions about the past.
Marie Kondo isn’t the only way to think about decluttering
The modern decluttering movement has often been associated with Marie Kondo’s idea of keeping possessions that bring joy.
But psychologists and professional organizers have pointed out that emotional reactions can complicate that approach.
Ferrari has argued that people can become more attached to an object simply by physically handling it, making the decision-making process more difficult. He recommends organizing possessions first and looking at the bigger picture — including how many similar items a person actually owns.
The practical lesson is simple:
Don’t judge one object in isolation. Look at the entire collection.
One pair of shoes may seem useful.
Twenty pairs may tell a different story.
A different philosophy: Swedish “death cleaning”
Wu also references the Swedish concept of döstädning, often translated as “death cleaning.”
The idea is straightforward: gradually reduce unnecessary possessions so that someone else will not eventually have to sort through everything on your behalf.
Unlike the pursuit of a perfectly minimalist home, the philosophy is less about owning as little as possible and more about being intentional about what remains.
It asks a difficult but useful question:
If someone else had to clear this home tomorrow, what would I want them to find?
That perspective can change the way we think about possessions.
The goal isn’t to own nothing
Decluttering does not have to mean turning your home into an empty showroom.
A home is supposed to contain evidence of a life — photographs, books, gifts, furniture, souvenirs and objects with personal meaning.
The more useful question may be whether those possessions are still serving a purpose.
Are they being used?
Do they genuinely matter?
Are they taking up valuable physical or emotional space?
Would someone else benefit more from having them?
Those questions can make letting go less about throwing things away and more about choosing what deserves to stay.
Sometimes, less really does feel like more
Wu’s experience offers a striking conclusion.
After nearly two decades of accumulating possessions, the actual removal of those possessions took far less time than the emotional process of deciding what to keep.
The grief he anticipated did not arrive in the way he expected.
Instead, there was something quieter: the realization that many objects had been carrying emotional importance simply because they had been carried forward for so long.
And perhaps that is the uncomfortable truth about decluttering.
We don’t always keep things because we need them. Sometimes we keep them because letting them go forces us to admit that a particular chapter of our lives has already ended.
The possessions remain.
The memories remain.
But the objects do not necessarily have to.
Sometimes, making space is not about losing the past.
It is about deciding what part of the past deserves to come with you.
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